Drinking Lessons from the Best Bars in America

When Ordering  Your Second-to-Last Drink…

1. “Water, please.”

2. Drink water.

3. “Another bourbon.”

4. Drink water.

5. Sip bourbon.

6. Drink water.

When You Need to  Weep Discreetly

1. Order martini.

2. Say that you forgot  you were allergic to vermouth. “Damn vermouth.” 3. Weep.

Or

1. Order martini.

2. Spill martini on  your face so that tears are masked by gin.

3. Weep.

Or

1. Order martini.

2. Bring tablet  computer extremely close to face. “Checking my e-mails.” 3.  Weep.