WARNING: Do not read further unless you are in a place where you can act on a sudden and irresistible urge to complete 10,000 push-ups in a row.
Just to start us off, here is James Harrison performing a 315-pound hang clean.
Here is James Harrison successfully completing the Bow Wow challenge—”They say I’m stunting! We’re gonna find out!”—by benching what appears to be 405 pounds three times, with an extra half-rep in between, because James Harrison has no time for shiftlessness.
Here is James Harrison putting 275 pounds on his back and then doing lunges.
Here is James Harrison screaming, “I DON’T MEASURE WEIGHTS, WEIGHTS MEASURE ME!” at the smart-ass camera operator before Bradford-pressing 275 pounds to the dulcet tones of Michael Jackson.
Here is James Harrison farmer-walking 30 goddamn yards while holding…[does math] one bajillion pounds.
Here is James Harrison barbell-hip-thrusting a cool 765 pounds, holding the weight at the top as his bewildered teammates do the only thing they’re qualified to do, which is dutifully steady the bench. (Side note: The audio on this one made my fiancée hesitantly poke her head into the room to ask if everything was okay. In response, I yelled something incoherent and did more push-ups.)