Turning this dynamic into reality through cuckolding is a mental workout “because it involves getting your mind past the jealousy”—past that touch her and I’ll blow your head off reflex. Jealousy, Block theorizes, is a social construct based on the notion that husbands own their wives, and is thus “much more recent, evolutionarily speaking, than the competition that turns guys on. That’s why it’s mostly intellectuals who are into cuckolding: because other guys are crippled by jealousy. They’re aroused and upset and don’t know why.”
Think your way around that, and “this is a simple and safe way to find a lover,” ventures the San Francisco-based Webmaster who calls himself DotInfo and operates Cuckold-Forum.net. “Not only does a woman want it, but also her husband wants to share his wife. And they don’t have to hide it from each other. It makes their relationships more clear and open.”
But there’s also a somewhat uncomfortable racial angle to cuckolding. Cruise the galleries at cuckolding Web sites and you’ll see the same dynamic again and again: white husband, white wife, African-American other man. In cuck slang, these black men are dubbed “mandingos” or “bulls.” Some sites, such as InterracialCuck.com, CuckoldHoes.com, and BigBlackBull.com, cater solely to this.
“It harks back to the notion of the forbidden,” says Paul, who doesn’t pursue this fetish-within-a-fetish himself, “and to that monstrous old stereotype in which all black men have two-foot cocks.”
For Paul, it’s enough that the guy makes him feel pathetic, but he warns that the emotional scarring isn’t for everyone.
“You’re playing with fire” he says. “Don’t do this unless you understand that you can’t take it back. Even if you never do it again, your wife will have always had that great time, and you’ll both know.”
Anneli Rufus is the author of many books, including Party of One: The Loners’ Manifesto, and the Nautilus Award-winning Stuck: Why We Don’t (or Won’t) Move On , and the coauthor of still more, including Weird Europe and The Scavengers’ Manifesto. In 2006, she won a Society of Professional Journalists award for criticism.
Article Appeared @http://www.thedailybeast.com/articles/2010/07/29/cuckolding-the-sex-fetish-for-intellectuals.html
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