Then came the afternoon entertainment. Perhaps in an effort to keep folks awake post-lunch, Wayne LaPierre and Donald Trump were the 1-2 closing punch of the day’s orations. The NRA’s always electrifying VP/CEO went first, delivering precisely the kind of high-velocity, armor-piercing, fear-mongering, the-gang-bangers-and-terrorists-are-coming-for-your-children-and-the-government-is-coming-for-your-guns call to arms for which he has become famous. By the end of his relatively lengthy address, Pierre had drawn a straight line between supporting the NRA and loving freedom. “Joining the NRA,” he told the crowd, “is how you resist. It’s how you tell the world that you’re going to fight and you’re going to protect everything you care about: trust, honor, dignity, civic duty, courtesy, kindness, the liberty to live our lives and believe as we choose, to be as accepted as we are accepting of others, freedom that only comes through the second amendment and the Bill of Rights to the United States Constitution!” Then he made everyone stand up who wants to save this country and fight for freedom. If only Charlton Heston had been there to shriek something about overthrowing our ape overlords.
Finally, there was the Donald—who was vastly less overwrought than LaPierre but also vastly less coherent. Trump started off babbling about all the celebs he’d just been hob-nobbing with down at his Miami hotel that morning. Next thing you know, he’s talking about how much Vladmir Putin respects him. How do we know this? Because Putin gave the Donald a present when they were hanging out in conjunction with The Miss Universe pageant, which Trump owns. You know who else really respects Trump? The Chinese. Trump has lots of rich Chinese pals, and they just love him. Plus, Business Week asked some question about the Top 10 things the Chinese want, and you know what they said? Trump stuff. Ties. Hotels. Apartments. Anything with his name on it. They’re crazy for the brand. The biggest bank in China is a tenant in one of Trump’s buildings, and they tell him, “We’ll never leave! We love you! We love the building!” Why? Because they respect Trump. Unlike that Obama schmuck, who they regard as a total loser. (How many hotels does Obama own? Zero! How many reality shows has he starred in? Zero.) And don’t even get Trump started on immigration or Afghanistan or how America should have seized Iraq’s oil after kicking Saddam’s ass.
Yep. After a relatively slow morning, La Pierre and Trump were the political equivalent of that moment at the wedding when the maid of honor slaps the best man, throws up on the groom’s grandma, and passes out in the punch fountain with her dress hiked up around her waist. Which is why, no matter how much abuse we take at CPAC, we the media just cannot stay away.
Article Appeared @http://www.thedailybeast.com/articles/2014/03/07/cpac-come-for-the-crazy-stay-for-the-party.html